Establishing Healthy Spiritual Boundaries

Establishing Healthy Spiritual Boundaries is a must for me, and I highly recommend you doing so, if you haven't done so for yourself as of yet.

12/23/09 9:15pm PST

It is important to establish healthy spiritual boundaries, when you are a Love Practitioner. I have recently discovered, that those who are spiritually deficit in their thoughts of their own conscious creations, often want to attach themselves in an unhealthy manner to me, out of their own lack of love, and inability to seek the love that can only come from within, and that does not ever exist outside of one's own inner dwelling space in the heart. It seems upon discussing this subject matter with my dear friend Rashida today, that as a person who is very conscious of wanting to be a nurturer, and a care giver, and helper, that I have found myself in the most precarious predicaments of making myself FAR too available, and FAR too open in a visceral way to the degree that it can then injure my own spiritual integrity.

For example, I have had several friends come, and stay with me during the course of the past several years, when they lost their homes, or became divorced, or didn't have a place to live, and I had opened up my home not on one occasion, but on five different occasions to five different sister friends, each one presenting a very interesting lesson that was God's way of allowing me to learn how to speak in a better manner to establish a healthier boundary in my own personal space. For me, as the independent, and very self-determined person that I am, my home, is my sanctuary, and if I ever feel that anyone does anything at all to intentionally destroy the sacredness of that space, I have learned to say that it is not okay, and that they are crossing the line in the sand, and stand in my truth. The most recent opportunity occurred this week, when a friend came to stay with me due to being evicted from her apartment. It was that I was trying to throw her a life line, and a floatie out in the ocean of sadness, to welcome her into some stability, and to a place of peace in my heart. During the course of her stay, she complained frequently, often speaking about how powerless she was in her situation, and how it was the other person's fault, why she was being evicted, and I started to see that it wasn't that it was necessarily the other person's fault, it just is, what it is.

Everyone asks for their specific lessons, or blessings to move forward, and we are in choice on whether if we choose for the growth period to be joyful, or painful. As we know, the Universe ALWAYS says yes! So when we are opening up the flow of love, we may be opening up the gateway to all sorts of interesting characters of people who get to play out various roles for seasons, reasons, and for life evolutions. At this particular time in my life, I am choosing to remain grounded in my heart chakra center, and speak very truthfully, when I feel that someone is not in alignment with the truth of my being.

I do not judge, I simply say, no thank you, I will pass on that dish that is on your menu, but thank you for sharing. Another instance has been with my counting the numbers of individuals who want to attach themselves to me in a romantic way, and not out of a space of pure agape, because they do not recognize their truth of their God self being, and that which they see being illumined in me, they wish for themselves, but don't know how to ask for guidance on how to better love themselves, so they will suddenly fall in love with me, and then I become the focus of their love crush, and their delusions of what the truth of love is, or as Bro. Ishmael Tetteh would call it as it is, "Pornography", it is not the love that God wants for us, is in us, and lives in us.

For these specific individuals, when I have politely said, no thank you, I will pass on that dish on the menu, and yet, they still continue to seek my attention, and or my love, I can only say, that I bless you, and pray that you will find your own personal love, and light, as what exists inside of me, exists inside of you, for we are all inter- connected as One in this Universe. Another way that I am learning to establish healthy boundaries in my communication, is when I hear the sounding alarm of the still voice inside of me ringing because someone is trying to invovle me in to their issues, and problems, (OPP - Other Peoples' Problems), as the old Hip - Hop song sang, You down with OPP, yeah, you know me"...NOT! I am not down with OPP. Thanks, but I think I have enough on my own To Do list, not to inherit yours. Bless you, and thanks for the offer, but I respectfully decline in love.

My dear friend Noel reminded me of digging up the roots of old trees, that for me those trees had been dead a long time ago. There is always someone be it in your immediate family circle, or someone who knew you when, that person who you used to be, is given a seat at the table, when you asked them to leave a long time ago.

We were speaking on the subject of Christmas, and she was speaking about how overwhelmed she felt about running around buying gifts for her family. The same family who has not supported her as a single mother of two children for the past couple of years.

I said I felt that Christmas was not what society has pictured it to be, everyone happy, and loving, and gift giving, trying to decide how much someone is valued at or worthwhile all based on what we wrap in a bow, and put under a tree? This is ridiculous to me, that for only one time of the year (ie Valentine's Day, are you only supposed to show your love one time a year?), and that for me, my truth is that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, and that for me, the gift of peace is the best gift I can offer/and receive for anyone, and that is what I am living to give.

I shared that my love is a gift, and my time is a gift, and who I am is a gift, so why do I have to buy something to make someone believe that they are more meaningful, and be out of my spiritual integrity in order to make someone feel a euphoric high that will be over by the time they unwrap the present.

To me, it's like a drug, the entire holiday scene, people in their frenzied ways, and getting aggravated, and then being not very kind, or loving, and so I avoid it. I have taken a more Jehovah Witness viewpoint, in that shouldn't the gifts that we are buying be gifts we present to Jesus, the Son of God, not how it has become this mega superficial consumerism shallow nightmare of a season. I will be glad when the first is here, and we can focus our attention on our new season of Solstice.

This Christmas, my wish for peace extends to the globe, where I wish to see families being healed; where people who haven't been speaking to one another to be brave, to be courageous, and to open up their heart strings to share a line of communication. I wish more people to help the homeless, create funds for recreational activities for Children, and or buy books, and educational materials to assist Children from lower income areas, so they can gain some education. I wish for those who can offer service to volunteer at a Children's Hospital, to spend time making children with illnesses laugh,etc...those couple of examples is what Christmas means for me.


Love, ahhhhh, where is the love?....a wise soul reminded me to see the truth of all beings, as Amma would see a hurt little boy/girl, and I appreciated the gift in that enlightenment, yes, their little boy/girl wanted to be acknowledged, given attention, and most importantly love. Afterall, isn't that basically the reason why we're all here? This blog, One Love is One Spirit is about love. I may speak about various subjects, but in the end, it all boils down to that one word for me. It is about being a nurturer, and a light beacon for love, and so I am grateful that for another day on this lovely planet we call Earth, that I shined my light in the best way I could possible, for love.

Here is my toast to the new you, for standing in your truth for love, and for establishing healthy boundaries, that uplift, and inspire your personal well being.

Amen. And so it is! Ache!