You Are Never Alone

12/10/09 6:19am PST

You are never alone. At some points in life, it becomes necessary that you will need to go through journies that are relevant to your spiritual purpose, that involve no other person besides yourself; even there know that God is walking footsteps beside you.

The healing will begin to take place once you acknowledge to the Spirit that you have been called, and that you will obediently oblige the taks that God has set out for you.

Yesterday, I set out to have a needle aspiration for a Biopsy for the appearance of lumps in my right Breast. I had asked several members of my spiritual community, and prayer partners to support me, in accompanying me to the appointment. No one was available to accompany me. My adopted spiritual Grandmother said that she would come with me, but due to the fact that she is forgetful, she didn't leave her house in time, to arrive to meet me at my house, in order to make the appointment on time, I had to leave. When it got to be 30 minutes before my appointment, which was in the Peninsula side of San Francisco, I had to leave. She called me frantically from her car on the cell phone to apologize for being late, and I explained that it was alright, that she needed to take care of herself, and not to worry. She asked me to call her when I left the appointment, but I never did. I didn't feel like calling anyone.

My Sister left me a message the day before soudning burdened that she would have to take time off to accompany me, and so I told her that I wouldn't ask her for any help for anything, and I wished her peace. My Mother is sick with some sort of bug, and I told her that I didn't want her to come with me either, because I felt she needed to rest. So I received several email messages from my sister friends, all telling me that they were praying for me, and reminding me that I was not alone, for God was with me.

The experience of the needles plunging into my breast repeatedly,while the Doctor prodded, and poked me, and prompted me each time that he was going in by saying, "Poke", was miserable. After the first needle entry, I asked him with tears welling up in my eyes, was he going to use Anesthesia, and his reply was no, because there was no need for a local because he didn't want it to mask the lumps, he wanted to be able to locate them easily. He would squeeze my breast area after he pulled the needle out, and I believe he was doing this to get more samples for his diagnosis.


So I called in my Angel, whom I have been told is named "Willow", and asked her to bring some friends, and Ancestors to help me, as I said my Hail Mary, and asked Mother Mary to comfort me. I also said an Om Namah Shivaya a couple of times. I found the Om mantra chant helpful.

The Doctor explained that I would be sore, and possibly bleed internally, and have a bruise inside my breast, where he attempted to identify the tissue issues. He said I could call in one week to learn the results of my examination. On the drive home from the Peninsula, I cried, and sobbed, and felt very lonely, and disappointed in not having anyone to comfort me. I reached out, and called my friend Naomi, who made me laugh, and reminded me that I was a divine emanation of the Most High Goddessz, and that my life had great purpose. I shared with her my vanity in not wanting the Doctor cut me open for not wanting scars on my breast. She reminded me that even if I had scars, that I was still beautiful (inside, and out), and that is what truly mattered.

After a couple of hours, I felt an intense soreness around my right breast area. I took a bath, being careful of that area, and I left the bandage that the Doctor dressed me with on, so as not to allow any further bleeding to occur. I took an 800 mg Ibuprofen, and drank a half of glass of Vanilla Soy Milk, and called it a night after crying on the phone to my Mother, explaining how I felt unsupported today, and how disappointed I was that no one was with me. I didn't want anyone whom I felt to be negative around me, especially when I was already having my own doubts, and fears that were coming up. She said that I had not been abandoned, that I was loved, but I said I didn't feel loved. I felt alone, and I felt hurt.

I know this is not the truth. I know that God never abandoned me. I know that I can not put my trust in men, because the only person whom I should put my trust in is God. God will never abandon me, and I will never abandon God.


I asked for help
December 8 at 10:07pm
I'm looking for a BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT Prayer Partner to accompany me to my MD appointment tomorrow.

Here are the messages I received from loved ones today, proving that I wasn't alone.

Sumaiya Malik December 9 at 8:55am
Hello my love, just sent you a text msg as well but wasn't sure which you'd receive faster. I'd be happy to go to the doctor's with you this afternoon. Just let me know the address and I can meet you there :)

Di'Anne Finch-Smith December 8 at 10:31pm Reply
I am with you, my love. You are the light of God and no harm shall come to you.Di'Anne

Rena Keslar December 8 at 10:34pm Reply
Hello Beautiful! I am so grateful you are asking! I have a client booked at that time tomorrow. I will be with you in my heart and in Spirit knowing the perfection of God in you AS you!!

Karen Smith-Coleman December 9 at 12:11am Reply
Hi Michelle...I have a doc's appt tomorrow as well...will be holding you in light and love and healing energy...knowing that you will be ok...and so it is!

Kiran Gaind Mukkamalla December 9 at 5:22am Reply
My dear bright light sistah,I relieve our nanny at that time today and will also hold all of your light energy in my spirit praying for all that is healthful and radiant that is manifesting...Love!!Kiran

Peggy Handler December 9 at 9:16am Reply
I would love to accompany you personally, but I am working. It is my dinner break from 5-5:30 and I will hold you in my heart in the ONE HEART and ONE MIND. many blessings and much love

Carol A. Hanson December 9 at 9:38am Reply
I send healing energy - Surrounding you with Love and Light - And remember you are never alone, know the perfect Prayer Partner is with you today at 5:15pm, though, I am only able to be with you in Spirit.

Alisha Blau December 9 at 9:53am Reply
My love and light are with you Goddess. Bathing you in golden light, Divine elixer to wash, cleanse, purify..I am with you in Spirit!

Karen Fry December 9 at 2:54pm Reply
Michelle,Just saw your email. It is so good to see that you have loved ones to go with you. You are never alone.I speak my word for Michelle absolutely knowing wholeness, the perfection of life, and health through every cell of her body! Sending you love, peace, calmness, and light.

Nadiya Aleem December 10 at 1:13am Reply
Sweet Sister! In the Light, you are surrounded by the healing love of Spirit. You carry this Light fearlessly, sharing it selflessly making it clear that you are living and experiencing your divine eternal path and purpose. I was with you in Spirit this day and knowing what you were going to experience, put my day's inconveniences in check. Love you.

Jacquelyn Amira Hayes December 8 at 11:56pm Reply
I will be there with you in spirit and love...sending healing white light and energy...call me anytime...I love you!!!

Ouida J. Cooper-Rodriguez December 9 at 1:33pm Reply
Dear Sunshine! I am sending you Light as you go in today. Please know my Love and Energy are with you!

Susan Julie Gonzales December 9 at 5:25pm Reply
I am there with you...in the Oneness of the One.Love ....love.....love

Emily Butterfly December 7 at 11:21pm
Sending you healing and courage and a big beautiful breath of grace and ease for tomorrow!!♥ and happiness

SistahGoddess Camara December 8 at 10:26pm
Hey Shelly,I would love to come but I am in New Mexico until the weekend. I know you are healed and that any process that is occurring is the result of a past belief that is now gone and wants to be released. Know that God is the only power in your life! In God's name I pray and know this is true! Call me if you need to. Take Care.Loving Hugs,Camara

SistahGoddess Camara December 9 at 6:16am
Hey,Please ask for help -its ok. I had a biopsy before and its scary but it worked out...in fact it lead me to change some things about my life that needed changing. There are no mistakes just lessons. Remember you can't grow without experience.I will pray for you AND I will continue to know God walks with you. Your Ancestors guide you and you have the power to heal anything that needs to be healed.Hugs and Love,Camara


revjoans@pacbell. net

You are held in the light and love of our entire community, Michelle, as you move through this transformational process. I behold the radiant wholeness of your Being and stand in the knowingness of infinite perfection right where you are.

In Love,
Rev. Joan


You are held in the light and love of our entire community, Michelle, as you move through this transformational process. I behold the radiant wholeness of your Being and stand in the knowingness of infinite perfection right where you are.

In Love,
Rev. Joan

Infinite love and blessings,
Rev. Dr. Joan Steadman
Community Spiritual Leader
Oakland Center for Spiritual Living
510-547-1979 ext 313
revjoans@pacbell. net
www.oaklandcsl. org

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." Rumi


Gloria Evans-Young

Dear healthy, wholesome, beautiful Fairy God-Granddaughter: Just saw the email. Know and Know that you know. You can only be whole perfect and complete. God the creator does not comprehend dis-ease. CANNOT HAVE SUCH, YOU AS AN UNIQUE EXPRESSION OF THE ONE GOD CANNOT HAVE DIS-EASE. YOU AND GOD ARE ONE!! AND THE SAME. GOD IS WHOLE, PERFECT AND COMPLETE AND YOU AS GOD'S VESSEL CAN ONLY BE WHOLE, PERFECT AND COMPLETE.Years ago, I had a biopsy. My doctor said. the results of the pap test showed cells too active for my age, although healthy. She wanted to be cautious. I had to wait months for the specialist she wanted me to see, After the biopsy she said my tissue was so pink and healthy I couldn't have any serious. If so, it could be fixed easily. I was going to email you about Saturday or Sunday to put up the xmas tree. I offer you a a free hypnosis meditation anytime you want. It's one I use quite often at the clinic where I told you I volunteer. It is extremely powerful and effective-- reaching down into the subconscious and cleaning out the source of our fears and foundations of dis-ease.

And so it is! Ache! Amen!